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2010.02.27 05:23 Meades_Loves_Memes r/teenagers

teenagers is the biggest community forum run by teenagers for teenagers. Our subreddit is primarily for discussions and memes that an average teenager would enjoy to discuss about. We do not have any age-restriction in place but do keep in mind this is targeted for users between the ages of 13 to 19. Parents, teachers, and the like are welcomed to participate and ask any questions!

2016.08.25 06:02 Divtya_Budhlya Single by 30

During their Senior year of high school, Peter and Joanna made a pact to get married if they were still single by 30. After losing touch for 12 years, Joanna re-enters Peter’s life coincidentally at his 30th birthday party. Confronted with the unsettled reality of their lives, they decide to reinstate the pact to help each other improve their dating lives.

2014.10.09 17:46 glamorousglue Serial-The Podcast

Serial is a new podcast from the creators of This American Life, hosted by Sarah Koenig. Serial will follow one story - a true story - over the course of a whole season.

2020.09.19 08:10 WiseDante1 I'm tired

As a heads up, this is gonna be long and maybe a bit rambly.
I'm a 6 year enlistee, with my 3 year mark coming up in 2 weeks. As time goes on, I find myself growing more and more depressed as time goes on. I joined for 2 reasons: Travel and education. I was initially going to join as 1N3X1 as I was taking had been taking 4 years of Japanese, but then I learned that I would likely not be able to use it and would have to learn another language. So I signed up as 3D0X2 because I thought it would be useful on the outside if needed and I had basic knowledge and interest in computers. My recruiter was one of the rare ones and didn't try to force me into any one job or the other, so that helped.
My first real issue came at the end of basic. I had been dealing with issues with shin splints and difficulty with sit ups. I wound up getting put into Get Fit after the last PT test and the sheer number of people who had been in med hold (same squadron) for 4+ months and had seemed to just give up on everything was a huge shock. I managed to find 2 others who had gotten there a little before me and we kept each others spirits up. They helped me to get through and on my way to tech school.
I was at Tech school for about a week, when an MTL told me that they never had a passing PT score for me from Basic and I was going to have to do another test. He says they'll just count my test from when I phase up to ITP. In the meantime, I get my short sheet and it says I'm headed to Shaw, a base I had never heard of, and not oversees, which was all I had on my dream sheet in basic. So that's one reason that I joined, shot down. I carry on through classes and eventually I decide I should phase up, as I had been still need the PT test and I had been told that we had to phase up before we PCS. I get through the testing and everything just fine, and I phase up.
Later, I get called to my MTL's office and was told I was receiving an LOR for phasing up late. He wouldn't hear anything about me not being given a deadline other than "before you PCS" despite others being told the same thing. As he was telling me I was getting the LOR, he asked to see my short sheet, and saw that I had missed a deadline on it. He gave me another LOR on the spot (I'll own up to that one being my fault). That night hit me pretty hard, and I was noticeably down until I passed Sec+ and left Keesler.
I get to Shaw, and the first thing that I'm greeted with is the fact that there's a whole lot of nothing in town. The second thing, is a SSgt sponsor who is mentally already at her next base, and a dorm that's run down and falling apart (and was found this year to have black mold). The next day I meet the rest of the shop, and it's one of the most depressing work environments I've ever seen. 2 NCOs and 5 airmen crammed into 2 offices that were probably 10'x10' at best with no lights on and the windows covered. The NCOA's first words to me (after don't stand at parade rest) are something along the lines of "I don't know what kind of person you are, but no dating within the shop". So a real warm welcome. I don't even have a desk for the first 1-2 weeks, so I'm just sitting in the corner on a metal folding chair. Neither NCO is particularly helpful with my in processing, so the 2 most senior A1C's take it upon themselves to help me. We learn it's going to be a few months before I can get my CDCs, so I'm basically stuck twiddling my thumbs until something happens to let me do some OJT.
Pretty quickly, I learned that the shop I'm in has nothing to do with my AFSC. It's a CST shop, with a single 3D1X1 in it. The rest of us are 3D0X2s except for the NCOA, who's a 3D1X2. It's rough at first, but eventually I get the hang of it, and even start to enjoy it. Then I get my CDC's. Immediately, everyone who hasn't finished them in the shop (we were where they sent all of the brand new airmen) got their computer accounts set to .mil access only. Not only did this make my remaining in processing a pain, but it also made us all feel like we were being treated like children. Morale plummeted.
Not long after, Both NCO's leave and we get a SSgt and a SrA to replace them. The first thing that the new NCOA did was tell us, "If you can figure out how, I'll let you remove your .mil restriction". Morale in the shop skyrocketed and we all got good at our jobs and were pretty well motivated. Eventually, though, all good things must come to an end. We got the news that all of the airmen were going to be steadily moved to the OPS Floor. Anyone who has been on the Floor can tell you, it's where Airmen's dreams go to die. The leadership at the time was toxic, the schedule terrible for your body, and the job is thankless. We lost the airmen who had helped me when I first got there first, and were told that the rest of us would follow as we finished our CDCs. I was extremely vocal about wanting to stay in my current shop, but was told to just shut up and accept it.
As my time approaches, I get into numerous confrontations with the MSgt who was the section chief for the floor, ranging from him accusing me of everything from underage drinking to sleeping in formation. I happened to get lucky and he PCSed before I moved over, but he had already bad mouthed me to the next section chief. Luckily, at least from a leadership and personality standpoint, the next 2 section chiefs were pretty good. The new work I was doing, however, was not. I was put into another job that I wasn't trained for and told to figure it out. The airmen who were going to train me got moved around the unit, and the contractors that I worked with felt unapproachable. This effectively killed any motivation I had for my job.
It's been about a year and a half since then. I've had my PT issues come back up and several health issues that have made it hard to fix. I've asked several times to be moved to a different section, only to be denied with no reason, or passed up for someone else. I try for overseas with every listing that drops. The most recent listing had the most and best openings I've seen since enlisting, and I got none of them. When I go home every day, I just crawl into bed and sleep for at least an hour, usually more like 5. Weekends are usually spent alone, sometimes drinking. I can only say that I have 1 close friend here, and I only see him once every 2 weeks outside of work. My friends from home are either busy most of the time, or we no longer speak. I've lost interest in the hobbies that got me through high school, even music, the one I wanted turn into a career and teach after getting out. The only saving grace has been being within a days drive of my dad. I've been seeing mental health, and it helps a bit, but with my opportunities for BOP and retaining both so far away, and Shaw being famously hard to get away from, I'm not sure how much more I can take. I had such high hopes when I enlisted, but I can only handle dreading the place I go to every day for so long.
submitted by WiseDante1 to AirForce [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 07:16 AceOfSpades107 creepy girl from work won’t leave me alone?

i hope this is a good subreddit to put this in
ok so i’m Ace and i’ve been working at this fast food place since about february and this new girl who i’ll call connie (like creepy connie from Jessie) she was hired in mid may. so i’m a 17 year old male and she’s 18 and out of high school while i’m on my senior year ,so she and this other guy who i’ll call jason (who’s 17 too)started in the same week and i was nice to them cause they were new and i’m not stupid enough to be rude to new employees. right away i knew they both had a crush on me cause they were bad at hiding it. i first asked jason if connie likes me and he said no so i thought i was imagining things then later she admitted it and i respectfully told her that i don’t feel the same way and never will cause she’s not my type. that was in early june. for the last few months she’s been making very uncomfortable by doing many little creepy things. i have compiled a list of all of the things she’s done. it’s not enough to tell her to leave me alone but enough that it’s unsettling. now i have a girlfriend and have been slowly pushing her out of my life but she’s persistent to want to be close to me,which i don’t like having close friends. my closest friend i have i only talk to every few days. but recently another coworker friend of mine says connie feels sad that i don’t talk to her(connie) much anymore and i’m a nice guy and care to much about peoples feelings but i feel like if i talk to her i’d just be leading her on.
here’s the list :
•text me when she wakes up and before she goes to sleep (doesn’t do this anymore) •mentioned how she prefers me in my muscle shirt •constantly wants pictures of me •made me her wallpaper 2x on her laptop -asked her friend for a selfie of me that i sent to her(the friend) just to make it her wallpaper -changed it to a screenshot of me on facetime •text me all the time (doesn’t do this as much) •wants to facetime every night (doesn’t do this as much) •waits for me to get off work every night •insist that i text her when i get home •got jealous of her friend cause she thought me and her liked eachother when we clearly didn’t •throws a fit when i don’t reply fast enough (has dialed this down) •hasent taken off a string i jokingly tied onto her wrist ,to the point where the string looks gross [one of the white strings that break off the disposable masks] •wanted to keep my pocket knife when she accidentally took it home after borrowing it •wanted to get matching pocket knifes after i jokingly suggested it •says she wants “ace attention” after i said it once (doesn’t do this anymore) •wants me to come over after work a LOT •waited in her car for me to leave while i talked to a co workers dad just to follow me home cause we take the same route •mentioned how we have known each other for 2months (keeping track of how long she’s known me?) •made a picture of me and her her second profile photo on twitter [handle picture? i don’t have twitter] •tried to ask me out by asking for advice on how to ask a guy out (probably to bring up if i still didn’t want to date her) •brings up how she likes me often,maybe to remind me she still likes me incase i change my mind? •started associating herself with hearts after i mentioned how and i’m ace of spades and when i have a girlfriend i can associate her with ace of hearts •watches me while she washes her hands and i’m working the window (sink is next to the window, i know this cause i can see her reflection in the computer screens or windows around me)
so like i said it’s not anything super weird like showing up to my house randomly but it’s enough to be unsettling. a few of the things like the preferring me in muscle shirts is concerning ,if the roles were reversed and an 18 year old man said he preferred a specific 17 year old girl in tank tops that’d be really bad and no matter what time she gets off she will wait for hours for me to get off work so we walk out to our vehicles together and she always drives behind me. it’s a possibility if i block her out more she will do more creepy things like watch me more or come to my house or maybe stalk me and my girlfriend.
some more special mentions is that at one point it got bad enough that i debated getting a different job even if the pay was worse. and jason also has done some unsettling things like try to solicit nudes from me ,ask me what i masterbate too and if i’ve ever masterbated outside of my house like at work or school
i guess i just want some advice on what i should do, should i talk to her more so she doesn’t do more serious stalking things? should i block her out? should i find a new job?
sorry if this is all over the place. i’ll answer any questions in the comments and probably do an update
TL:DR - strange new coworker is pushing the limits of stalking ,should i block her out or just keep her at bay
submitted by AceOfSpades107 to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 07:10 Occasion-Reasonable AITA for disliking my mom's privacy rules?

My family life is far, far better than average. But this is throwing me for a loop and I need help.
I'm a college senior (23f) living at home due to quarantine and a developmental disability that severely limits my independence. (No dating, struggle with driving, etc.) People might call me spoiled, but I like to think that I give back to my family by entertaining and mentoring my teenage sibling (who has a major intellectual disability and some anxiety problems) almost every day. My sibling can be needy but also lots of fun, so it's not like it isn't rewarding.
We're a family of introverts quarantined for months now, and I try to help by watching my sibling more often, but apparently the close quarters are getting to my mom.
For over 2 decades, Mom and Dad have a routine where they take 1-2 hours to themselves at night with movies, a glass of wine, and/or snacks. Dad says that Mom needs this time to "not be a mom for a while" and relax. She has mild bipolar disorder, and while the meds have mellowed her a bit and stopped the episodes, she's still high-strung and has issues relaxing. She needs time with my dad because he's calming.
The issue is that in order to relax, she basically needs the whole downstairs vacated.
She likes to talk to my dad about private things sometimes without being overheard. She wants to do this with a snack and/or wine. She doesn't want to bring food to her bedroom or the living room in case of spills, she doesn't want to move to the slightly more private dining room because she's turned it into her office and "that's her work space," and the weather isn't normally good enough to hang out outside. While I'm allowed to speak or walk to the kitchen for food when they're watching TV, I can tell it makes her uncomfortable.
(No, I'm not hideous. She doesn't like that I can see her show and any awkward content.)
If I want to get a snack or try to tell Dad something important while they're in the kitchen, she'll storm out and/or lecture me later. She says that one interruption when she's trying to do something can make her lose 30 minutes' worth of focus and it can ruin a conversation.
My room is downstairs at the end of a hall. If I give her the radius she wants, then I can access 10% of the house (my room, a bathroom, and the door to the garage).
I told my dad I wasn't loving this arrangement and asked if I could at least text first if I wanted some real food. He said I should either use the garage freezer or wait until he and Mom go to bed (usually around the same time as my bedtime) and that I should try to see her perspective. He says he hopes I can accept it.
On one hand, I get that she needs quiet time and that I'm lucky I'm allowed to live here at all.
On the other, it kind of hurts to be shut out from almost the whole house and sometimes I feel like she doesn't even like me.
Should I just shut up and deal with it?
submitted by Occasion-Reasonable to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 07:05 otome-princess Lend me 2 mins of your time

Hello! I'm a fresher in college. My senior and I are working on an article for our college e paper that covers moving trends in dating and relationships induced by pandemic. We're sending out google forms to collect people's views on this shift is dating. No personal data will be published. May I post it on here? You can have a look at the google forms at the end of this. A response would really be appreciated. Thank you!
submitted by otome-princess to OkCupid [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 06:50 lildogg747 Limerence 17-26

Background: I am a 26 YO male in grad school and have been categorized by a psychiatrist as being “on the fringe of the ASD spectrum” (i.e., Aspergers).
Story: I met the LO once I had moved to a foreign city at age 14 in 2009. I had a hard time adjusting as I had lived my entire life to that point in the Midwest. She was my first and best friend, helping me to integrate into our school socially. We talked for 5+ hours a day for 3 years. We were very close friends but LO had a boyfriend at the time from 9th grade to 11th. LO was my closest confidant but I viewed it as a friendship first and foremost. Eventually, my junior year of high school, she broke up with her boyfriend.
LO was an extremely empathetic individual and an astoundingly good listener. In contrast I was very abrasive and had little to no empathy to the point where I alienated the rest of my friends through my callousness. Yet I always felt that her ability to understand and sympathize with others, even outside of our friendship, percolated into me and fundamentally changed the way that I thought. I genuinely believe that much, if not all, of my empathetic and caring characteristics were derived from my time with LO.
So over that summer in 2011, LO was now single and I without any other friends. We began spending every day together. One day, as we had finished watching every film we had ever wanted to see, she asked me “what should we do now?” I kissed her. Thus began ~2 months of FWB; however, we never actually had sex. This was my decision because I was unsure of how I felt at the time and because I did not want to have sex outside of a formal relationship. She had also asked me to ask her out on a date as she “loved me”. I had postponed on this request as I wanted to proceed slowly out of caution. I would categorize that summer of 2011 as the happiest I have ever been in my life.
Yet I was not aware of how fully I cared about LO. To this day, my two inactions to ask her out on a date and to lose my virginity with her remain the biggest regrets in my life, because I did not act authentically to how I felt towards her. Fast forward to a couple months later and she is telling me that she wants to end FWB as she has found another BF. I realize how I feel, and express it to her. She rejects my advances and ceases contact over senior year.
My limerence began in Fall 2011. That year was a very difficult year for me as in my mind, I had alienated the one person I loved due to my own inaction. I really worked hard to try and improve myself during this time, adopting a lot of the more empathetic and caring traits that I try and express today.
Eventually, I go to college in NY and LO goes to college in CA. She breaks up with her ’11 boyfriend. We sporadically resume contact but I make it clear to her that I see her as a potential romantic partner. We go to an EDM festival together in CA in 2013 and dance together; but shortly after she enters another LT relationship with someone in her college. I focus on my studies, but every day I think of her (checking social media, etc.). Over this time, the feelings of jealousy, anger etc. subside and are replaced with a bitterly conflicting combination of emotions: I am really happy that she is doing well, but I still seek reciprocity and a formal relationship with her. I reach out in 2015 during my junior year of college but she blocks me on social media. We don’t talk for 2.5 years. My feelings remain unchanged and equally strong.
In November 2017, I message her again randomly after a few drinks and she replies. The next evening, we talk over the phone and catch up. She tells me that she “will always love / care for you like family” / “think about you all the time / want the best for you” but that her “romantic affections remain” with the BF. Despite this, she says wants to try her best to have me in her life. We begin to talk for hours every day again. In 2018, she visits me during a holiday weekend in NYC, staying with me (separate mattress) despite having a BF at the time, during which she holds my hand as I express how I feel towards her. I respect her boundaries, but this is all very difficult for me given how strongly I feel for her. We begin to talk for hours a day again. Eventually, we mutually agree to terminate contact as it becomes clearer that I am seeking a romantic relationship and that she is not. We talk sporadically for the next half year.
In Fall 2019, I still feel that there is stuff left unsaid. I write a letter for her. In it, I express my undying love and affection. I re-affirm how I feel and I ask her that “when the time comes when you decide to wed, I hope that you consider marrying [me]”. I send the handwritten letter to her address (which she provides to me). Four days later, she respond that she “will not marry [me.] And I’m sorry.” She adds that she wishes “all the happiness in the world” for me, and that it would be best if we blocked each other. Since then, I have not talked to her. After writing this letter, limerence has overall decreased as I personally believed that I had done everything in my power to make my best possible case.
Last month, I found out through a friend that she recently broke up with her ’13 boyfriend of 8 years. I’m not sure how this will turn out. Friends have consistently told me to move on for 8 years. My counterpoint is that although her actions don’t reflect a commitment, she has sent significantly mixed signals in the past. I am uncertain what will happen.
My limerence has been unabated since October 2011 and continues today.
Postscript thoughts
I’ve had 2 psychiatrists and 1 psychologists over 5 years to help me through, yet actual progress is much more dependent on the relevant attendant circumstances than personal development. When I put in the effort to try and avoid thinking of her, I end up with very vivid dreams where LO and I spend hours together talking—making me miss her even more.
Throughout this time, I’ve maintained a dozen short-term (i.e., <3 mo.) relationships with others. None were remotely limerent, despite a few being affectionate. I think part of the reason I was so uninterested in other relationships was because none of them made me feel like my life was remotely as meaningful as I did when I was acting upon my love for my LO. I do believe I'll find love either with LO or with another, but there is an admitted fixation on this person.
I really feel that I understand her as a person versus an 'object' (which I view to be derogative) given the significant amount of time that we spent together. I have nothing for gratitude for her and although I perceive a lot of imperfections in her, reciprocation to me is slightly less important than her being happy, although a necessary element for me to remain in contact with her (i.e., I suffer when I am just her 'friend'). The cognitive dissonance to me is internally mentally resolved by my belief that I can adequately care for her and given the barriers to pursuing a relationship with me are noticeably smaller than in the prior 9 years.
In an ideal world, I would rather she just have me in her life. The exclusive element / reciprocity I believe are too high standards to expect. My hypothesis is that she cares about me and loves me in the traditional sense, but not to the extent that I am limerent / love her. Not really sure if she will make what I believe to be the right choice (i.e., she has to unblock and message me for this to work), but I do have faith that she will.
None of the above has prevented me from an otherwise happy life. Which makes it all the worse because I have come to value love/limerence as a human experience as much more meaningful than any professional / familial / etc. responsibility. It occupies 90% of my thoughtshare. It has gotten easier though: previously I was afraid of being alone if not with LO, but now I have more faith in my ability to find someone else. However, I can't help but think that this specific relationship with LO is my life story / moral arc. Am I destined to always think of LO or will this abate when she marries someone else? Is there anything I can do to minimize my suffering?
I encountered and read Love and Limerence only this last week. Still thinking through applications to my situation.
Happy to answer any questions. Thanks for reading and I hope you all find the meaning and fulfillment you are looking for.
submitted by lildogg747 to limerence [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 05:55 Spanchious I wanted to give her the world and yet I lost everything: how I ended up 3000 miles away from family and friends

Tldr at the bottom.
This is extremely long and I apologise. will try to be concise, but also provide a full picture. We've had no contact for 2 years now and I never shared my full story with anyone. Wanted to see how that would feel.
I am doing much better today with the help of a therapist and finally getting my personality and life back.
We met in college. ex pwBPD: gorgeous freshman (literally model like) Me: tall average looking smart senior
I met her in college getting fake yelp reviews for a company with a friend to make some money. We get a review, she gets a starbucks card. easy money, 2 min of our time. Those two minutes changed my life.
She started hanging around starbucks where I gave out these cards in hopes of running into me.
The day she ran into me around, she got me food from her place because I told her I was hungry (I was also quite broke). We started talking more.
She began to mirror. Started smoking cigarettes with me, drinking coffee, and dressing down to my level (flip flops, oversized baggy shorts, loose fitting t-shirt).
We texted day and night and it felt magical. Crazy sex, lots in common, clicking on every level.
What she didn't tell me was that she was cheating on her then boyfriend with me, I didn't know this. They broke up, but maintained contact after that and she would sometimes demonize him, as abusive and aimless; and at times praise him, as kind and caring. I let it go.
6 months in, our honeymoon period ended. Splitting and cheating started. I let it go. Hoping to work it out. Talk of marriage and kids started around this time.
Things continued to escalate. She felt disrespected by my family because she's of a different race and culture (I'm an immigrant). She started berating me and physically assaulting me. I blame myself because regardless of this criticism, I was in love. I thought the world of her and wanted to give her the world.
12 months in, I'm out of college and making good money. We are living together and I essentially support her. I didn't mind as long as we were together. How foolish.
I lost my family, my friends, and one day I noticed she's the only person around me I know. I spent 12 hours a day working, 4-5 hours with her after, and would get by on 5-6 hours of sleep for over a year. I showered her with gifts and attention. Her family adored me.
Yet, this wasn't enough and I continued to blame myself for doing something wrong.
Things took a turn. I realized I needed out. Regardless of how much I love her.
She had 2 miscarriages when she and I were together. Early term so she wasn't showing. She told me after the second one. I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. I blamed myself.
She was depressed and started to harm herself: I'd get texts from her at 2-3 in the morning telling me she loves me and she's ready to die. About a dozen of separate occasions.
"Will you be there holding my hand when I die?" "I want to be gone and be one of the stars, like my friend Aurora" (her friend Aurora killed herself when she was a teenager) She would engage in suicidal behavior and then text me about it. I felt like I had no choice but to drop everything and run to her.
She tried to overdose on her antidepressants and alcohol and I got her help. She slit her wrists and I had to get her to a hospital.
Worst of all. I woke up in the middle of the night. She's next to me wearing jeans and a jacket, smelling of dirt. I asked what happened and she said she jumped in front of a car but the impact didn't kill her so she came back home. I tended to her.
At this point, it's been about 2 years together. I don't know why I was still in this. My only condition for leaving was another cheating episode. She picked a mutual friend to mirror and eventually cheated on me soon after, and I did not hesitate to get out.
I found out about the affair, started looking for jobs and the first interview I got was 3,000 miles away from my family, home, and friends. I flew out for the interview without telling her. I got an offer as soon as I landed back home.
I start in 2 weeks. I told her several days before my departure. The night of my departure she threatened to kill herself and I had to hide knives from her. She locked herself in the bathroom and tried to harm herself there. I was able to get in and threatened to call the cops and have her committed. This is when she calmed down.
I left. I had lost contact with my family. I had lost all my friends. I was 3000 miles away from home. All alone. Over two years of life gone.
The many times people asked about my relationship with her. I couldn't tell them. I didn't know what to tell them. Where to begin.
Her friends wouldn't believe me. My family or my friends wouldn't understand.
My family still does not know. They never questioned my move because of how much my relationship with them deteriorated.
I wanted to give her the world, but yet I lost everything: I taught her how to drive, I got her a car, I showered her with gifts and attention. I got along with her family. I supported her when she was in college. I was good to her friends. I wanted to give her everything hoping I'd be the one to fix her. I forgave her splitting behavior and cheating and supported her during her depressive episodes.
It really hurt to find out she was already seeing someone else a few months later. Like nothing happened. I was dispensable. superfluous. A fleeting moment.
I blamed myself no longer. It's been two years. I am still 3000 miles away from home. I got promoted at work and doubled my pay. Got in shape, rediscovered my interests and hobbies. I built a new circle of friends, built my confidence back up. I am back in contact with family and hoping to get back to them soon. I am close with my siblings whom I miss very much. My phone still shows 2 times zones - my current time zone and another one simply labeled "home." I don't know how to change this and frankly, I don't want to.
One thing I still can't do is date. Casual is fine, but nothing more.
I tried dating again. I met a new girl. Gorgeous, funny, smart, and supportive.
I developed feelings for her and started getting severe anxiety. I couldn't focus at work and was worried that I wouldn't be enough for her. Everytime she took a long time to get a reply, I'd get anxiety, if our date plans changed, I'd get anxiety, if I didn't get a text good night, I'd get anxiety. Any variation in my interaction with my new girlfriend gave me severe anxiety and I decided to cut it off. I couldn't deal with it. It was extreme.
My friend who knew both (my ex with BPD and my new girlfriend) noticed that my new girlfriend is very similar to my ex wiith BPD (height, weight, race, hairstyle, looks) I didn't notice until he told me. I projected my previous experiences onto her for which I am extremely sorry. I am working on this. I tried to reestablish contact with her once I found out why this was happening but she refused. Life goes on and I will meet someone when I am ready.
My new motto is:
It gets easier. Everyday it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it everyday - that's the hard part. But it does get easier. (from bojack)
I appreciate having a community where I can share this freely without judgment. Knowing you'd understand.
Thank you
Tldr: my ex with BPD tried to kill herself in front of my several times, consistently cheated on me, had 2 miscarriages with me, physically abused me. I lost my friends and family during our relationship. I up and moved 3000 miles away abruptly. 2 years later. I'm still away and suffering from severe anxiety.
submitted by Spanchious to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 05:40 behemoth_555 Tonight, I think we might actually get divorced

This will likely be a long story, since it happened over nearly 12 years - sorry in advance.
We met online. I was 21 (male), he was 19. I wasnt ready for a long-term after having been jaded by others before him. He was young, dumb and very obsessive/consuming. Our first 3 years were hell. I was too afraid to be alone and know what i wanted, he wouldn’t let me walk away as somone who was obsessive. Eventually, idk if it was me giving up or growing up a little but I guess I thought he was the best I was going to get and am an introvert to the point of no support system (family, friends or otherwise) to help me through a breakup at that time. Fast forward 2-3 more years (2015) gay marriage is now legal. Of course we get married, we had been together for about 5 years...settled in and comfortable. Why wouldn’t we marry?
Maybe 1 year later, we move to Germany for a work opportunity on my part, he of course joins me. He puts his life on pause, never really acclimating until another oldemore senior person joins us with their 9 yr old son. I beg my husband to continue to baby sit the 9 yr old so he has SOME sort of interaction and cashflow. So far I was the bread winner and basically supported us, paid for rent/bought a house, paid our student loans, car payments, etc. He had zero cash responsibility besides his own spending money when he had it. It became a sort of unwritten agreement, our responsibilities. Thats how it is supposed to happen, right? Not REALLY 50/50, but divided some how.
After those three years abroad, we move back home to a new city. He never really had an adult job (bartender was his most “steady” job while stateside). In this new city he begins finally to be a realtor, got his state license, but then COVID. The last 6 months he’s been renovating our home I pay for - rent, taxes, materials, etc. By now, I’m used to giving him a monthly allowance from my earnings.
Now the root of our marital/relationship problems that seems to be the reason for our impeeding divorce. Our sexual life does not exist. I think I resented him the whole time for a) his obsessiveness, b) his gambling addiction (weekly before moving to germany, all of his money plus mine was spent each sunday) and c) his lack of motiviation to be successful. He’s spent more time on TikTok and Netflix than any sort of efforts to startup his real estate or now his handyman services during the last 8 months.
I am someone who needs someone with drive. He doesn’t have it. I need someone intellectual...despite my poor spelling/grammar while currently intoxicated...I need someone I can have an intelligent conversation with. Basically, he has never satisfied me mentally to be able to want to be physical with him. It was wrong, but I probably withheld sex because I resented him. I’m not the victim here. This was never a story of “feel bad for me”. Rather, I dont have the balls to be confrontational or stand up and say...You are not what I need/want for a successful relationship. It was always just, convenient.
Idk what I’m looking for by posting here. But we’re here now, and he has finally realized after nearly 12 years that I’m not attracted to him. Idk whats going to happen now, but he’s said both that he wants to finish renovating our house to sell and eventually move away but also that there is no reason for him to be in our new city and he should just pull the bandaid and move home sooner than later so he can start his new life.
I’m scared again. I’m 33 now. My parents are religious and will probably think “see, gays cant be married - its against god”. I want to have children before I’m 60+ when they graduate (i.e. ticking time bomb of 7 years). I don’t want to go back on Grindr or dating. I’m scared to be alone.
TLDR: gay guy, cant say no...12 years later, is asshole.
submitted by behemoth_555 to Divorce [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 05:34 1-100000000 New Political party proposed.

I found the following comment in the comments section at the bottom of this article on the macrobusiness website
Macrobusiness Member "Gunnamatta" proposed a new political party and outlined policy.
I think that there is merit to the suggested policies and would make for an interesting discussion.
Disclosure I am not "Gunnamatta". I am not a member of the macrobusiness website. I am just a regular reader of the non-paywall articles.
I have copied and pasted the comment from "Gunnamatta" below:

GunnamattaMEMBERSeptember 18, 2020 at 2:03 pm
That’s not bullshit……….
This is Bullshit – Bullshit Australia!
At this stage of the game it simply begs the question of whether it is the policy of the current Australian LNP government, headed by PM Scott Morrison, to completely trash the competitive basis of the Australian economy and to inflict lasting economic pain on all Australians.
Further to that, if we think it was an ALP government (Gillard’s) which OK’d the Gladstone white elephant, and governments of both flavours which have looked the other way while Australian gas which once meant amongst the cheapest gas prices in the world for Sydney and Melbourne, and therefore cheap electricity, has become about the world’s most expensive – while both sides of politics try to nudge coal seam gas and fracking on a population all too aware of the environmental and health costs this entails – then the following question simply arise.
Does Australia’s body politic – both mainstream sides including the Lberal Party, the National Party and the Australian Labor Party – have at its core an economic policy of completely trashing the competitive basis of the Australian economy and to inflict lasting economic pain on all Australians?
Have Australian public sector data gathering, regulatory, and policy formulation organisations and departments been so corrupted that they do not identify the above? Have they been so neutered that they cannot report the above to Australian politicians?
And at that point
Are Australian political and public sector elites acting in the best interests of Australians? Are they accountable for acting in the interests and explaining their actions to Australians to a sufficient degree enabling Australians to feel that their politicians and senior policy makers are accountable to them? ….and if they are not, How can they be made more so?
It is time for open revolt.
I think it is time for a new political party which I would call putatively Bullshit Australia – the party to identify and deal with Australian Bullshit and to promote informed and data backed decisionmaking throughout the political and administrative bodies of Australia, and to hold politicians, public officials and corporate interests to account for past decisions made, starting with a permanent standing Australian Corruption Commission.
(Edit removed members names)
I propose we aim initially – the next Federal election – at trying to get up 4 Senators from each state. I propose we get as far as we can up the nose of the current ‘elites’ by constipating their policy platforms in the Senate. I think/suspect we currently lack women…….
Key Slogan ‘This is Bullshit!’ Men and Women of Australia, Have you ever wondered about your energy costs ………‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you wonder why your salary hasnt gone up in donkeys years? ‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you work in a large organisation wondering why psychopaths inhabit the upper floors and you get stuck with meaningless KPIs? ‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you worry about if your kids will get a decent education in a government school while ‘elite’ private schools get more funding from all levels of government than your kids school does? ‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you wonder why your governments keep banging on about immigration needed for skills shortages when kids with Master degrees are joining the military as base grade grunts because there is nothing else for them to get into? ‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you wonder why Australia, the worlds largest gas exporter has the worlds most expensive gas in Sydney and Melbourne? ‘This is Bullshit!’ Do you wonder why foreign nationals traipsed on in and laundered money through Australian real estate so your kids need to move to Campbelltown to be able to afford a house, and hack out a 2 hour commute to a peanut paying gig every day? ‘This is Bullshit!’
Every time a mainstream politicians opens his mouth (or her mouth) in the public domain, just point out ‘This is Bullshit!’
Draft Policy Platform – for discussion/arguing about/ data provision I propose that the Bullshit Australia and the Macrobusiness cognoscenti run a full campaign in the upcoming election to get ourselves elected as the swing players, running on a platform revolving around (with negotiations/debate/argy bargy) the below…….
– which would at least offer some sort of genuine left and data backed – and openly transparent – presence in parliament
Policy Positions
· Enshrine Medicare into Constitution
· Enshrine ABC funding into Constitution
· Enshrine Australian Bureau of Statistics funding into Constitution
· Enshrine political party funding transparency into Constitution
· Enshrine freedom from foreign influence legislation into constitution
· Enshrine requirement for all candidates for every election in Australia to be approved by AEC prior to standing for parliament
· Enshrine a National Crime & Corruption Commission into Constitution and give it investigatory powers.
· End negative gearing
· End capital gains tax dispensation
· End health insurance rebate
· Implement Federal Land tax
· Remove PAYE taxation for those earning under 55K (but retain/create Medicare (4%), Defence (2%), ABS (1%) and ABC (1%) levy
· Inclusion of family home in determination of access to the aged pension where the home is worth more than 500k.
· Development and maintenance of publicly available database on Australian taxpayers [companies & individuals]
Economic and Monetary Policy
· Reinclusion of employee and community representatives on RBA Board.
· Requirement for RBA to report quarterly to Parliament on monetary policy in relation to wages and housing costs
· Requirement for RBA to report quarterly to Parliament on the effective use of taxpayers funds in relation to support for Australian banks and financial system entities.
· Requirement for RBA, Treasury, and other government agencies (including ABS) to develop standards and monitor quality of life issues being faced by Australians (both on average and by decile) and report on how policies being adopted by them influence a range of demographics
· Mandate the creation of new entity to be called the Australian personal public and corporate debt commission to produce analysis on the debt, indebtitude and debt servicing of Australians and Australian entities This organisation is to have representatives of the RBA, Treasury, State governments, local governments, retail banks and community organisations at a board level.
· Requirement for RBA to report quarterly to Parliament on money creation and the beneficiaries of money creation over the preceding quarter and year, and forecast such into the future.
· Commence federal government building housing
· Implement competitive GST Bonus payable to states which do best on housing affordability and housing creation
· Enshrine right to housing into Constitution
· Enshrine a National Probity and Veracity test for all funds used for housing purchases.
Urban Design and Construction · Establish a set of national standards for residential design and construction. Enforce these standards with criminal penalties. · Establish ‘Plot Ratios’ in the state planning systems to ensure adequate green space on residential blocks. · Establish a national policy to harvest storm water for urban parks and open spaces. · Establish access to natural light as a property right. · Re-establish the professional registration of building related engineering services. · Outlaw private building surveyors and re-establish the system of Municipal Councils administering building standards.
· Mandate real time visibility of politicians allowances and outlays
· Mandate Housing affordability requirement for all politicians to reaffirm whenever they propose legislation
· Audit all payments to or on behalf of politicians
· Mandate funding transparency for all levels of Australian government (Federal State and Local), and a donations and gifts declaration requirement for all persons above a particular level (about SOG C in APS) in all public services of budget funded organisations (including Universities)
· Mandate rate of politicians salary at 2, 3 , or 4 times average full time earnings.
· Mandate access to politicians super is only accessible by vote of the seat which politician represented each 5 years at rate of 25% 50% 75% or 100% of standard politician rate.
· Mandate all politicians and all political aspirants seek and gain clearance from Australian Electoral Commission on suitability for office regarding S144 of the Constitution & fiscal relationships with the Australian Taxpayer
Industrial Relations
· Reintroduction of the Australian Industrial relations Commission with powers to intervene in cases of Award and Agreement transgression – whether brought before it by parties or now.
· Additional role for revived AIRC will be to oversee employee superannuation payments, their payment by employers, and the effective deployment of these funds as regards to the interests of employees (and with a view to minimising longer term budget and pension impacts on government outlays).
· Additional role for revived AIRC to oversee use of contractors, contracting arrangements, and corporate entities to ensure employees are appropriately addressed for entitlements.
Climate Environment & Agriculture
Mandate of Inland Water Commission
Abolition of tradable water rights
Audit of all inland water resources and adoption of real time water availability monitoring.
An investigation into the viability of major water users in the Murray darling basin (eg cotton farming) and the impact these have on water for other water usage in the basin
Mandate of Australian Native Flora and Land Clearance Commission and audit of all Flora on Australian landmass and adoption of real time monitoring
General policies to proomote reforestation where Australian Native Flora and Land Clearance Commission designates appropriate
Mandate of Australian Salt Office to promote annd monitor management of salt issues in land use
· Mandate gas reservation policy to ensure globally cheap electricity and gas.
· Mandate solar panels and hot water on all new dwelling construction
· Mandate tax deductability of residential and corporate solar battery investment
· Enshrine right to lifetime medical care for all Australians who have served in the military more than 7 years
· Mandate immigration rights (for individuals and families) for those foreign nationals agreeing to serve 10 years in ADF
· Mandate that no deployment of more than 200 ADF personnel to any particular offshore location or theatre of operations can occur without debate and vote in joint sitting of parliament.
· Remove student visas from right to residence and housing purchase
· Remove student fees from first degree in science, mathematics, finance, medicine
· Increase training of medical practitioners and access to medical degrees
· Remove all public funding for non government schools
· Mandate economic diversity criteria
· Mandate country of origin criteria so that applicants of no nation comprise more than 10% of the total immigration intake in any one year.
· Enshrine 70k NOM per annum as Immigration base, with priority to refugees and families
· Allow NOM above 70k per year only where economic diversity, debt, education, housing affordability, intergenerational quality of life and employment conditions are being met.
· Allow temporary visas in circumstances (eg academic world, some science) where globalised workforce would expect it.
· End temporary work visas unless companies can demonstrate they have made attempt to develop their own skills in their own workplaces, or made genuine attempt to source skills within Australia.
· End Special Investor Visas (except where entity is contributing to export or import competing business in Australia employing more than 10 Australian employees)
Free Trade Agreements
· Mandate audit of all Free Trade Agreements entered into prior to signature and ratification by Australian parliament
· Have productivity commission audit all extant FTAs Australia is signatory to
Foreign Policy Foreign Aid with a focus on: – The Pacific – Supporting nations on the frontline of refugee crises to make safe camps there with the hope they can return. – Empowering women in developing countries to make decisions on family size.
Public Service
· Commence regionalisation policy for major APS agencies
· National audit of all APS outsourcing since 2000
· Mandate that no company identified to shift profits offshore can receive government contract (onus is on company to prove and gain certification from ATO)
· Mandate that all contracted services in Australian public sector are audited and re[ported on to parliament for effective use of public monies, and with all transition costs (including relocations and redundancies) included in that consideration.
· Mandate that selection for all Senior Executive Service Positions in the Australian Public Service be subject to approval of APS Probity Commission
· Mandate creation of Evaluator General for all public policy proposals
· Mandate all policy that can be based on empirical evidence should be so based · Mandate any policy that is intended as an interim measure have a review date and terms of review attached to it, and · Mandate that all policy Have a clear plan for the future of the nation at a federal and state level, so policy has a long term rather than short term vision
Social Welfare
· Make unemployment the same as study assistance
· Re Establish Commonwealth Employment Service
· Mandate requirement for all calls to all social welfare services be monitored, and answered within 10 minutes
Internet Data
· Mandate that all Australians own the data collected on them
Royal Commissions
· Royal Commission into the Tertiary Education Sector and Links to Foreign States
· Royal Commission into Private Indebtedness
· Royal Commission into the Funding of Australian Politicians
· Royal Commission into Housing Affordability
· Royal Commission into the advent of COVID 19 – its Origins, entrance to Australia, and effects on the Australian Public
· Royal Commission into the value for the Australian people & Impact on budget of Australian Public Sector Outsourcing and the Embedding of Private Sector Providers into Australian Public Sector Service Provision
· Royal Commission into Housing Affordability
submitted by 1-100000000 to AustralianPolitics [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 05:28 Impressive_Row_5597 Is it worth it...

So I recently moved to a new school, I’m a senior, and there’s a really cute guy that’s been hitting on my and not gonna lie I’m falling for him a little. We hung out everyday this week and we’ve hung out a couple times before as well, and we text all the time. But I wouldn’t really say we’re talking yet. He’s sooooooooo charming, funny, outgoing, athletic, smart (when he applies himself lol) just everything you can think of..... but..... my cousin and some other people have warned me that he can be verbally abusive after about 4 or 5 months of being in a relationship. And I’m scared my cousin would judge me and all that if she finds out I like him let alone if I’m talking or dating him. And I also dont want to put myself in the situation where I’m being verbally abused all the time. But I like him so muchhhhhhhh and he’s never said anything bad, rude, or anything like that to me and his friends hangout with us as well and they are telling me to go for it and let him ask me out because he’s such a good bf and he’s really loyal and everything. My cousin has even confirmed that he’s loyal... Please help me! I just need to figure out what to do before I start getting too attached. Am I being stupid for liking him????
submitted by Impressive_Row_5597 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 04:53 Calvin_Fine 10 promises you must make to yourself as an Asian man looking to break free.

So I see a lot of stuff on here from dudes trying to talk about making it and trying to be alpha but quite frankly, I see right through some of that. I know a try-hard and an Instagram selfie workout bro type when I see it. The kind that will talk self-improvement and Asian pride one second and be a pussy the next day. So if you are genuinely serious about making it, you will live your life by these rules.
"I promise to judge people by their actions and not their words".
Case in point, the liberal left. All the tolerance and nonsense they preach about acceptance but how do they treat a fellow Asian man? Like garbage. Don't think I am being Alt Right here either, we know how many white nationalists flood to those places. Instead now, you promise to judge people only by the impact their actions have had on you, yes this even means parents. If your parents are the helicopter parent types making you weaker, you cut those ties and lose contact with them, yeah I went there. If they do not make you stronger and a better version of yourself, they need to be cut out.
Even the so called pro-Asian Masculinity types on this sub that shame you for your preference or because you want to get laid? You block them. Why? Because they do not truly want you to be the alpha Asian who gets girls of all types and breaks stereotypes, they are just trying to keep you another stereotype.
"I promise to be cold, uncaring, detached, and ignore people or the kinds of people that halt my growth and success".
If your Asian brothers are holding you back and trying to keep you the stereotypically shy beta male, you cut them off and act like they do not exist. If your white friends are making jokes at your expense, you block them and act like they do not exist. If women of certain demographics are being bitches to you, you be cold and unreceptive to them right back. If certain people are stopping your growth, you ignore them entirely and limit contact. They do not deserve your energy, patience, or even any words from you other than "cool, I am busy though".
The Anna Lu who told you that you were ugly due to being Asian? You watch that self-hating bitch burn and rot as you go for other kinds of women. Avoid all contact with her and act like she does not exist, she gets a detached version of you as deadbeats pump and dump her.
If they stand in your way of success and what you want out of life, they can die in front of you and you are not to have any sympathy at all whatsoever.
"I promise not to let anyone diss me because of my race or make a race joke until they have really proven themselves to me."
Some rowdy black friend making Asian jokes or black guy trying to be funny? You give him a plain look and call him out on that shit. If he says "it was just a joke", you respond with "so are you".
Some goofy white guy saying racist comments? Call his ass out on it.
Some colleague or acquaintance making Asian jokes? Do not let it slip.
Now if this person is a brother or a very close friend who you also make race jokes about, he can do it because you two are that close but if he goes too far, you let him know. You keep the race jokes between the two of you but as soon as others get involved, you call it out.
"I promise to go the extra yard and fight hard for the people and groups that make my life better".
The Asian mentor who raised you out of misery and made you an alpha? You put your life on the line for him. The pretty white girl who went to bat for you and slept with you as angry white boys boiled with rage? You be her shield. The pretty black girl who shut the racist that was giving you a tough time up? You fight to the last beat for her. The odd white guy who was an exception and stuck up for you? That's your brother now and you bleed for him. The father who almost broke himself in supporting you and showed you nothing but live? You break yourself for him and show him nothing but love.
"I promise to spend my money and time on things, movements, events, and entities that have contributed to my well being".
Haoliwood with all of its virtue signaling and yet it continues to pedestalize white men while women of color as shown as sex toys and men of color as second class beings? From here on out, you boycott. You do not spend a dime on it. You stream their shit if convenient until they decide to continue to promote Asian men in a positive light. Until then, they do not get a dime out of you.
You support brands, movies, movements, and entities that contribute to your well-being and better life. Now after a while this is for you to decide so you determine that. We can agree that Haoliwood hates Asian men so we can boycott them but other things, your say.
"I promise to stop worshiping white men and crying about how much easier their lives are, especially in dating".
"Wah wah if I was white I'd get 500 matches a day brug!"
None of this, ever. You do not go around cozying up to white guys like an Anna Lu in heat, no more. You do not go around from reddit to reddit talking about how much easier life would be and how girls will worship you if you are white. You no longer cry like a bitch for not getting matches for being Asian. No more. You no longer complain endlessly about how the world is stacked against you because you were born with a certain look. If you are not willing to do this, stop reading at this point.
Instead, you be that much better to where they cannot ignore you.
If you have truly maxed out your look, style, have the best pics, and can confidently approach hot girls at a bar without being nervous, yet still haven't gotten results? Then you can whine. Then after that I will just tell you it's not because you're Asian, it's because you're just ugly so make a million bucks and bang hookers or marry a gold digger. Even after that, you do not cry and worship whitey's life.
"I promise to stay true to what I want out of life".
You want to be a pornstar and fuck 500 girls? Break the stereotype.
You want to be a doctor because you genuinely love science and curing lives? Go for it.
Whatever you want, that is your life and your purpose. You go for it unapologetically. Parents in the way? Tell them to fuck off. Friends in the way? Get new friends. It is that simple. You go for what you want and shut out the noise. Truth is, you will always have people opposing you once you are passionate about life.
"I promise to be unapologetic about what I like, especially in women".
You like blondes? Great.
You like black girls? Amazing.
You like Asian girls? Spectacular.
You promise to yourself that whatever gets your dick hard, you will like unapologetically and with pride. If you like white girls, you do not let the voices on this sub talk you out of your preference. On the same token, if you like Asian girls, you do not apologize for that preference and chase them exclusively as you wish. You owe nothing to no one. The commenter or even senior member on this sub calling you a "Chan" for liking white girls? I bet he does not feed you, put a roof over your head, or even know you personally. You put him on ignore. Same with anyone calling you complacent or saying you cannot get girls of other races because you only like Asian girls. You go for what you want in women, listen to your cock and let the world lose its breath trying to convince you otherwise.
"I promise not to judge my brothers for what they like and their preferences".
Asian bro likes Asian girls exclusively? None of your fucking business.
Asian bro only likes white girls? None of your fucking business.
You are not saving a race or doing your brothers any favors by judging them for their preference. As a matter of fact, your vocal disapproval shows what a sorry shitshow your life is that it keeps you up at night that an Asian man only likes white women or only likes Asian women. Men who are that concerned of the preferences of other men, to the point of hostility, are almost always unsuccessful in their own goals with women. I bet the Asian man judging other Asian men for loving white girls failed with them a while ago, misery does love company. From here on out, you do not judge your brothers for what they like in women, stay in your own lane.
"I promise to share my success story with the world once I have made it".
Once you have made it in whatever your passion or goal out of life is, you are sharing your story. Once you have fucked 500 different women, you are telling the world about it. Once you have lived your badass life, the whole fucking world is hearing about it. Once you have done the badass shit you've wanted to do (by your standard), you are telling the world about it.
Why? Because somewhere out there will be a young boy who you will inspire.
Also, if this post was good, feel free to post on my sub that I started!
submitted by Calvin_Fine to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 03:53 ThrowRAHSsenior High school senior dating a freshman, is this wrong?

High School Senior dating a freshman, is this wrong?
I [Male] am 17 years old, and I’ve just begun my senior year. This year, our school grew exponentially due to reasons I will not share, but basically instead of getting the average 3-5 new kids per grade every year, each grade gained roughly 10-15 new students per grade. I’ve been talking to one of the new students (a female). We’ve really been hitting it off. We both love animals, ride horses, and share other interests. I was almost positive she was a junior, maybe a sophomore. I decided to ask her out, and I know she will say yes because she has been flirting quite heavily. And I did, and she said yes. This was 3 days ago. Last night, I found out she was a freshman. She does not look like a freshman. And I’ve actually been vocal about how I feel about freshmen dating seniors, and I don’t really like it. But now I’m really interested in a girl, and I find out she’s a freshman. (Before anyone brings up the legality, I have no intention of being in a sexual relationship while still in high school, so legality is irrelevant.) Is it wrong if I go out with this girl, and maybe start dating her?
TL;DR I’m a senior in high school who wants to date a girl originally thought to be a sophomore or junior, but is actually a freshman.
submitted by ThrowRAHSsenior to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 00:33 updownstranger identity crisis

i was ill for most of high school until senior year, when i met my ex. i was just hanging out w a classmate and going through the yearbook and i realized that i... literally don’t have any memories of high school that don’t involve him somehow. he was like my best friend before we started dating and i spent most of my class and free time with him or around him. every fun story i started to tell my classmate today i ended up cutting short because i would remember halfway through that my ex was heavily involved.
it’s not a bad thing that he’s in all my memories. he really was one of my closest friends, and he never did anything hurtful up until he left. i know who i am as a person without him. i’m just feeling really weird realizing that all of my good memories from my “most important” school year were about him.
ah, well. nothing i can do about it now but make new memories with the people who’ve stuck around.
submitted by updownstranger to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 00:00 boinabbc [HIRING] Senior IoT & Big Data Engineer at sonnen GmbH in Berlin

sonnen GmbH is searching for a Senior IoT & Big Data Engineer in Berlin with the following skills: Database, SQL, Java
Standort: Berlin, B E, D E Wildpoldsried, B Y, D EStellen-I D: 599 At the earliest date possible we are looking for support for our #teamsonnen At sonnen, we believe clean, affordable, and reliable energy for all is... apply or read more here:
submitted by boinabbc to jobbit [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 00:00 boinabbc [HIRING] Senior IoT & Big Data Engineer at sonnen GmbH in Berlin

sonnen GmbH is searching for a Senior IoT & Big Data Engineer in Berlin with the following skills: Database, SQL, Java
Standort: Berlin, B E, D E Wildpoldsried, B Y, D EStellen-I D: 599 At the earliest date possible we are looking for support for our #teamsonnen At sonnen, we believe clean, affordable, and reliable energy for all is... apply or read more here:
submitted by boinabbc to techjobs [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 23:34 animelover4242 Apps to meet people near me that are not fully creeps?

I want to make new friends and possibly date someone and I want to know what has worked for you Edit I’m in the USA so meeting people irl is not a option for me right now and I’m taking the year off school to have a better senior year (18f)
submitted by animelover4242 to Advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 23:31 ThrowRA292929298 Our daughter (17) is pregnant and we have agreed to kick her out.

I (43m) and my wife (48f) have three teenagers: 13m, 17f, and 19f. Our oldest is moved out and in college. Middle kid is a senior and youngest is in 8th grade. Around November, my daughter got a boyfriend. They’ve actually known each other since 2nd grade. While I liked her boyfriend, I made sure to keep them away from each other if no adults are around. No sleepovers, no going to his house (He is emancipated and has his own apartment,) no riding in a car with him, because I don’t want anything going down prematurely. Around May, we got home one night and heard noise upstairs coming from my daughter’s room. We opened the door and caught them having sex. I chased her boyfriend out & he was lucky I didn’t catch him. Her mom nearly slapped her but she walked out & until she was calm. About fifteen minuted later, we had called our daughter downstairs and discussed new rules. She is grounded, after her punishment she is not to see her boyfriend at all & we need a GPS app on her phone. Her messages were to be monitored as well. We searched her room and found condoms. Her mom confiscated them from her and explained to her that what she was doing was inappropriate for her age, that she should focus on school & graduating, and that she should have waited for someone more serious because teenage relationships typically don’t last. Our daughter apologized to us and we told her that we still love her & we will all move past this.
A month later (The fifth of June) was her boyfriend’s 18th birthday. We allowed them to go on a date together but we sent her older sister to watch her. She was to come home at 8 pm. In August, our daughter told us she had news and she was crying hard. We asked her what the issue was and why she was crying, practically freaking out. She told us that she was pregnant and that she took a long time to tell us because she was too afraid. It stayed silent for a while. I thought about how the past month, she would wear loose shirts/crop tops with high waisted pants. We didn’t know what to say at all but all 3 of us were crying at that moment. I then realized we shouldn’t have let her go on that date with her boyfriend. Her sister was supposed to be chaperoning but she said her sister let them leave together. Her mom spoke to her one on one to ask detailed questions I didn’t wanna hear the answers to. My wife came back and told me they used the “pull out” method thinking it would be fine for a quickie. Then my wife and I got into an argument because she was the one who persuaded me into agreeing to let them hang out. The night was very intense.
Now we are in September. Since my daughter is a senior, she has early release from school. She works more (9-10 hour shifts which is legal in Texas if a minor is over 16) and is trying her hardest to be more mature. My wife and I were talking yesterday night. I said if she’s old enough to have sex and be a mom then she’s old enough to live on her own. My wife scoffed at first but then looked away- which she does when she’s thinking. She told me that since her boyfriend is emancipated, she needs to go live with him. They need to learn how to live together if they are going to become a mother & father. I told my wife that she’s exactly right. Now we have to break this news to our daughter who will most likely beg and plead for us to let her stay. We will always love her and be in her corner, but we are not going to be raising our grandchild. We’ve heard that story of the terrible young parent too often. How do we sit down and explain this to our daughter in the best way possible? It’s going to be emotional, but it needs to be done.
TL;DR: Our daughter was sexually active so we put a stop to it so she wouldn’t ruin her life. We allowed her to go on a date with her boyfriend for his birthday with supervision. They ended up getting a session in regardless without protection and now my daughter is pregnant. My wife and I have decided that since she made a grownup decision, it’s time for her to be a grownup.
submitted by ThrowRA292929298 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 22:26 megigrace Should I cancel?

So I’m a senior and already have two exams under my belt. All summer and spring I had been studying for my “last hurrah” SAT in August. While signing up I decided to sign up for an August and September SAT. Since I’m not a priority tester I had to book in sites almost an hour away and either because the school wasn’t confortable opening or I wasn’t a priority, my August SAT got cancelled. I’m 8 days away from the September SAT, is it worth it to cancel? I’ll be refunded $10 which is annoyingly insufficient for the amount I paid for the exam. It’s no charge to change the date, but if I push it out another month (giving myself time to study I suppose) it won’t be of much use to me as I have already begun applying (and have been accepted) to some universities. Should I chance it and see if the site closes and my exam is cancelled? Or should I cancel ahead of time. Just a side note, my state has strict quarantine policies and I am in quarantine because I have traveled outside of the state (so I probably should not be at any site within the next week). Thoughts on what I should do? Thanks.
submitted by megigrace to Sat [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 21:50 Hacini Not sure what do with my relationship 22F/28M

This will be a long one, so buckle up. I(22F0 have been in a LTR for close to 5 years now, when we first started dating I was in my senior year of high school and we were LDR. We clicked as friends almost immediately, he was super fun to chat with and be around. Originally I wasn't wanting to date, wasn't really looking for anything serious but after a few dates he confessed he wanted to date me officially and had feelings. I on the other hand, didn't catch anything feelings but agreed. I think to this day that affects our relationship.
Anyway, we had our ups and downs. We've moved in together almost immediately after I graduated. They say you really don't know a person till you live with them. To true! Eventually I guess my feelings evolved. I do love him but I guess not at the depths that he does. During our time together I've had a deep dive in sex drive after dealing with some health issues that have taken its toll on me and lead to a lot of hurt to the both of us. During that time I had an unaddressed issue that caused severe discomfort during intercourse. Ones that I tried to be quite vocal about but during the time was ultimately dismissed. The situation lasted months until it got so bad it left me in tears most of the time afterwards, at least until it was resolved. The experience was traumatic to say the least. I didn't feel heard and at one point felt used. It's something that I've tried hard to move past but it's something that always weighs in the back of my mind. It took just over, I think, two years to finally get some closer on the incident. To finally have him realize I was in pain. Which is a long time.
Even though that was years ago almost any time we have intercourse my turn ons and what feels good to me feels ignored. I say stroke it like that he does the opposite. I say move like that again he does his own thing. Some times he tries to listen and replicate but after showing him countless times, guiding him countless times I'm tired of always having to do so. After a while of repetition one would get the idea. Right? I try to memorize all of his turn ons and what makes him feel good and yet why can't I get that? I can count the number of times I've actually had an o moment with him on one hand. I'm no longer finding myself wanting to be sexual with him because of this. It's come to the point I really don't want sex with him, I'd much rather take care of myself instead.
Because of that though he begs for sex. It's constant asking and for me consent is my biggest thing. It's a turn on when he accepts that I don't want intercourse. When he does. Usually he just pouts and sulks if I say no before trying again a few minutes later. I use to love having certain areas rubbed as a turn on ans now he resorts to trying to do that to get me in the mood even after saying no. I've grown frustrated. I've told him I don't like being forced to have intercourse I don't want to, especially after what happened when we first started, yet he still does it. I've told him it feels like he's trying to convince me to, because he is, but he doesn't agree. He doesn't see what I mean. And in the end I cave, I give him maintenance sex because it'll stop the begging.
He brings up that the intercourse feels forced and that I never want it but doesn't seem to be able to connect the pieces. I'm tired of it. I'm starting to get frustrated and almost angry. He's told me several times there are times he looks at other women and gets and urge to want to have sex with them. It's gotten to the point where I almost want to say "ok, go have fun" because I'm tired of being convinced and begged for something I don't want. It's not cute and he doesn't get it and I don't know how to help him get it.
Lately he's been talking about marriage and it scares me almost. I don't want unsatisfying sex forever and I don't think I'm ready for it. He's my first LTR and while I enjoy his company outside of intercourse I can't keep this habit up. There other things that have affected us when it comes to communication. There's been countless times where he has to hear someone, usually another male, to believe something. Maybe it's coincidence or maybe I'm overthinking it but instances have happened where I give him information that I know is solid and true and have even experienced but when given he refutes and says it's not possible. Doesn't acknowledge what I'm saying, until lets say John(his best friend) says the same thing and then it's all how helpful John is and how much sense that makes. I know this sounds jealous almost and I guess I am. But it feels like my words are feathers compared others. I've tried talking about this with him but his rebuttal is why I expect him to just take my word. I don't necessarily, I just don't want to feel so undermined. Like I don't know anything. Like everything I say that might be helpful is just a waste of air. Like why bother at this point?
He's mentioned going to relationship counseling but I don't want to, I don't think it would work. He has this habit of thinking he knows better then therapists (he's previously seen one after we took a break from each other and stated that the therapist couldn't help him and that he knew more then the therapist, even when the therapist was trying to help him and that their talks weren't important to continue).
In the end, I typically enjoy his company and want to keep having a relationship but I can't keep not being satisfied.
This ended up being more of a long schpiel/rant then anything but if anyone has any tips, advice, literally anything I'll take it. Thanks.
submitted by Hacini to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 21:18 danmangirl Is he (24M) too clingy, or am I (23F) disgustingly selfish?

TLDR: I feel like my boyfriend is clingy and his world revolves around me, and that overwhelms me so much that I don't know if I can stay in a relationship that is too loving.

I met my boyfriend during my junior year of college, while he was a senior, through some mutual friends. We eventually started hanging out, but my dumbass self didn't realize they were dates. I was in a very vulnerable time in my life, and couldn't get any mental health resources at college because of the lack of availability (it seemed like everyone was getting help from them.. high demand for low amounts of resources I guess), didn't have money for therapy (and was too ashamed to ask my parents for help for funding this). He seemed to be this unexpected light to the darkest times of my life.
I have a lot of close male friends, and when so when him and I started to hang out, my dumb ass self literally thought it was purely to hang out. And the "dates" were platonic - he never tried to make a move on me, never even touched me, occasionally hugged me goodbye at the end. It was nice for me to make a new friend, it was really nice to hang out with someone who seemed to really appreciate my company. I felt like this appreciation was missing from my life for a while, so I allowed myself to keep seeking him out to go to the movies or grab food with between classes or drag him to go to Target with me.
It wasn't until his roommate (who was closer to me than she was to him) how our dates are going, where I remember looking at her baffled. I remember telling her that they weren't dates, that we were just hanging out. She told me that he had asked to hang out with me because he was interested, but he never had a serious relationship so he didn't know how to make any moves on me. He was scared to even touch me. But this introduced the thought - the thought that perhaps I can start to try to look at him as not just a friend, but as a date.
It was easy - quicker than I would like to admit, I fell for him soon after the realization that he was interested in me. I love to spend time with him, and we are now 1.5 years into our relationship. We still have never run out of things to talk about, we constantly are able to tell each other everything, we love to be in each other's companies, we love to dream about vacations that we may go on together in our future. We are so madly in love that it seemed like a dream come true.
So why this post? What am I hesitating on? The thing is, I have always been independent and treasured independence. I have been in two other serious relationships in my life, and I always appreciated that my past partners and I could have our own lives, but also be able to share our lives too. Does that make sense? My partners have always had their own hobbies, interests, friends, and so did I, but we would also make time to spend time with each other. I have always been in relationships that made me feel deeply connected to my partner but also independent.
However, as soon as my boyfriend and I started dating, I noticed a shift in him. He became more dependent of me, lazy (or at least, content to do nothing. Not sure if that's laziness), and isolated himself from everything to pay attention to me.
When we were in our "are we hanging out" stage, he told me that he loved running, going to the bars with his friends, reading up on random court cases, spending time with his super young (5-8 year old) siblings. After we became official, it's as if he dropped all of that. He barely talks to his friends, he doesn't run - he just stays at home and wants to watch movies with me all day, he loves his siblings but he barely visits them anymore (well, this one I can cut him some slack about due to COVID19, but he doesn't even call them). He just stays at home in his bed and still continues to read up on cases, watch movies, etc.
And his life seems to revolve around me. He tells me that I'm his world, and that always scares me. I could tell he really liked me, and by the time I started to have deep romantic feelings for him, he was on a whole different level. Within two months of our relationship, he heavily implied that he could see a future with me (didn't say it directly). He seems to not have any hobbies anymore, any life anymore, apart from being with me. It's as if I'm literally his whole world.
I constantly encourage him to call his friends more, go on runs or do some activities by himself. But he has gotten so comfortable with a life of not having to see anyone but me, and not having to do anything apart from schoolwork (he is now a grad student finishing up his Masters, which he is doing from home), that I don't know what to do. He doesn't even cook anymore - he is the one who taught me to cook. He does nothing anymore, has no goals and ambitions in his life, even admits that he is getting a Masters to procrastinate on going into the real world, no hobbies, no friends, he wants nothing in his life except me.
With me, he talks about his dreams of going to Europe or California and such together. When I'm with him, he cooks for me and takes care of me and holds me and loves me. He constantly (pre-Covid) took me on romantic dates, cooked me these extravagant meals, always loved to go on dates, always loved to shower me with romance. I can tell that I truly make him so happy. He is so full of love, and he's so supportive of everything I do. He never limits me from anything - just because he's not hanging out with anyone, doesn't mean that he wants me to stop. He never wants to burden me with anything, and lets me do whatever I want (hang out with family, talk to friends, do things I like such as digital art, reading, writing, working out). He constantly showers me with love, and constantly takes care of me. He loves me unconditionally... and it now scares me.
I love him as well, but I have finally put whatever uncomfortable thoughts that have always been in the back of my head into words: I cannot be his whole world. It scares me so much to have someone whose entire world revolves around me. I feel like I can never leave him, or else he will spiral and I would completely shatter him. These thoughts even make me feel guilty and I'm currently crying typing this out due to the massive guilt I feel. It is so overwhelming to me that he wants nothing but me. He tells me that he loves me with all his heart, and sometimes I joke and say "leave some of that love for your siblings haha". I understand now why I would say things like this, it was to see if he can love something else.
I talked to him before about how it sometimes scares me that he seems to cling onto me, and seems really dependent of me. He admitted that he definitely grew into being a little co-dependent, but he'll try to work on it. But I came to realize that his version of "working on it" was just to censor some of his words from me. For instance, instead of telling me that he wants to be with me forever, he tells me that he loves spending time with me. I can tell he isn't doing to change his co-dependency, just trying to hide it from me so I don't feel uncomfortable.
I don't know what to do and I feel so awful. I know I should probably break up with him, because me feeling so overwhelmed and scared of his love are not the right feelings I should be having in this relationship. But I feel like I'm the asshole. How can I give up on someone who loves me so unconditionally? Someone who has done nothing wrong? Someone who always treasures my happiness and comfort and constantly tells me that he wants to give me the world? How can I take his love, and just crush it? He has done nothing except love me.
I know this all sounds like "oh woe is me" kind of tale, like wow it must be so hard to deal with someone who just.. loves me. But I have no idea what to do and I am too ashamed of having these feelings. I feel like if we were on the same pace and footing, this would have all been fine. I truly love him, but I feel like my love for him is nothing compared to his love for me. I am making myself feel like my love for him is invalid and small, because his love is so intense and full.
What do I do? How do I deal with this situation? I don't want to break up with him because I don't want him to have no one, and I don't want him to be depressed and completely and utterly broken. I don't want to hurt someone who has done nothing but love me. But I also feel like I can't keep sitting around and waiting for him to change. I don't know what to do, and I feel weak, alone, overwhelmed, exhausted, and disgustingly selfish.
submitted by danmangirl to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 21:00 throwaway12893183 Me [19 M] with my best friend [19 F] 2 years, insecurity / jealousy issues

I met my best friend senior year of high school and we really started talking a lot during our freshman year of college. At first it was just a convenient friendship since we went to the same high school and college and didn't know anyone else but we kept talking and became actual friends. At college and even now during quarantine we talked all day and hung around each other pretty much the whole day thinking back on it it probably wasn't the most healthy thing ever but it got to the point where we started to develop feelings for each other. Beginning of 2020 she broke up with her boyfriend and was destroyed by it at this time I still didn't know I had real feelings for her but two months later we talked to each other and tried but she broke up with me because she still loved her ex and felt like it was wrong. We're still best friends today and everything but she doesn't love me anymore or at least that's what she told me so I've been trying to get over it for the past few months. This past week she has been talking to a boy and I've just been getting super jealous, frustrated, sad and being mean to her, I'm pretty sure it's because I still have feelings for her and I have become dependent on her due to how much we talk to each other on a daily basis. She was the first person I've ever loved in my life and now I just don't know how to move on or how to stop hurting her by being jealous all the time.
TL;DR - My bestfriend started dating again and I'm getting jealous and insecure about our friendship.
submitted by throwaway12893183 to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 20:52 flyinmacaronimonster Virginia is for Voters: A Highly Detailed Guide to Voting in Northern Virginia

**EDIT: Added Stafford County and Fredericksburg
Hey Virginians!
Today's the day! VOTING STARTS RIGHT NOW. Yes! You can vote now! Both absentee in-person voting and absentee voting-by-mail starts today, Friday, September 18. EARLY VOTING IS AVAILABLE UNTIL SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31. All locations will close on this date, and not earlier.
If you have not registered to vote yet, please do so. THE VOTER REGISTRATION DEADLINE IS MONDAY, OCTOBER 12, so please register to vote if you haven't done so yet.
You can register to vote using this link:
Make sure you have proper Identification:
If you are choosing to vote-by-mail instead of in-person, request a ballot, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY, fill in your ballot and MAKE SURE TO SIGN IT IN THE CORRECT PLACE. Please note that a witness signature is NOT required for this election.
For Northern Virginia, I would like to say that, in all honesty, the drop-box situation is quite patchwork. When drop-boxes were first announced, I thought there would be like one of these in every City and County:
Upon doing more research, I realized that the drop-box situation, not just in Northern Virginia, but also across the commonwealth of Virginia inconsistent.
Some places have those types of drop boxes available (not necessarily that size, but like that kind of drop-box), and some don't. It all just varies.
So, I will break it down by city and county in Northern Virginia
I will be detailing the following counties and cities:
Alexandria (city)
Arlington (county)
Fairfax (county)
Fairfax (city)
Falls Church (city)
Fredericksburg (city)
Loudon (county)
Manassas (city)
Manassas Park (city)
Prince William (county)
Staffford (county)
-Fairfax (City)
(1) Early voting location available @ the Office of Voter Registration & Elections, 132 N Royal St, Suite 100. HOURS: 8:00am-5:00pm MON-FRI.
YES: Satellite Early voting starts Friday, October 23. 1 location is open on every day up to Saturday, October 31, except Sunday, and 2 locations only open on the 2 Saturdays before early voting.
 Beatley Library @ 5005 Duke Street (OPEN EVERY DAY EXCEPT SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25)
 Minnie Howard School, 3801 W. Braddock Road (SATURDAYS ONLY)
 George Washington School, 1005 Mt. Vernon Avenue (SATURDAYS ONLY)
YES: (1) 24/7 drop box available at the Registrar’s office @ 132 N Royal St. You can also drop it off at a satellite early voting site starting on Friday, October 23, or at your polling precinct on Election Day.
(1) Early voting location available @ Bozman Government Center, 2200 Clarendon Blvd. Hours: 8:00am-5:00pm MON-FRI.
YES: Arlington County will have (4) satellite early voting locations, available after Saturday, October 17.
 Aurora Hills Community Center @ 735 18th St S
 Langston-Brown Community Center @ 2121 N Culpeper St
 Madison Community Center @ 3829 N Stafford St
 Walter Reed Community Center @ 2909 16th St S
NO: Arlington County does not have permanent drop-boxes, only supervised drop-off sites will be available. There's only (2) places to drop off your ballot, from now up until Saturday, October 17, both of which are on the same block around the Courthouse. Supervised ballot drop-off sites will be available at each satellite early voting site po
There's only 2 places to drop off your ballot, from now up until Saturday, October 17, both of which are on the same block around the Courthouse.
• LOCATION #1: Bozman Government Center @ 2100 Clarendon Blvd, 3rd Floor
• TOTAL RANGE OF DATES AVAILABLE: September 18 – November 3
• HOURS OPEN AS OF NOW: 8:00am-5:00pm MON-FRI up until Saturday, October 17; extended hours, including weekend hours available after that date (CHECK LINK FOR EXPANDED HOURS)
• LOCATION #2: Courthouse Plaza @ 2200 Clarendon Blvd (Former Wells Fargo Space by Starbucks) [ALSO EARLY VOTING SITE]
• TOTAL RANGE OF DATES AVAILABLE: September 18 – October 31
• HOURS OPEN AS OF NOW: 8:00am-5:00pm MON-FRI up until Saturday, October 17; extended hours, including weekend hours available after that date (CHECK LINK FOR EXPANDED HOURS)
You can also drop off your ballot at any satellite early voting location or at a polling place on Election Day.
(1) Early voting location is available @ the Office of Elections, located at the Fairfax County Government Center, 12000 Government Center Parkway, Suite 323, Fairfax. HOURS: 8:30am-4:30pm MON-FRI.
YES: 14 satellite early voting locations will be available starting on Wednesday, October 14 (one particular location will only be open on Saturdays):
 Centreville Library @ 14200 St. Germain Dr, Centreville
 Franconia Government Center @ 6121 Franconia Rd, Franconia
 Herndon Fortnight Library @ 768 Center St, Herndon
 Laurel Hills Golf Course @ 8701 Laurel Crest Dr, Lorton
 Mason Governmental Center @ 6507 Columbia Pike, Annandale (Mason District)
 McLean Governmental Center @ 1437 Balls Hills Rd, McLean
 Mount Vernon Governmental Center @ 2511 Parkers Lane, Alexandria (Mount Vernon)
 North County Governmental Center @ 1801 Cameron Glen Dr, Reston
 Providence Community Center @ 3001 Vaden Dr, Fairfax
 Sully Governmental Center @ 4900 Stonecroft Blvd, Chantilly
 Thomas Jefferson Library @ 7415 Arlington Blvd, West Falls Church
 Tysons Pimmit Library @ 7584 Leesburg Pike, Falls Church (Pimmit Hills)
 West Springfield Governmental Center @ 6140 Rolling Rd, West Springfield
 Great Falls Library @ 9830 Georgetown Pike, Great Falls [SATURDAYS ONLY]
NO. There is only (1) location to drop-off your ballot as of now, as a supervised manned "drop box" will be available at the Office of Elections. This "drop-box" will be open during business hours (8:30am-4:30pm MON-FRI) and will be located inside the building at the Elections office. There will also be one of these "drop-boxes" available at each satellite early voting location, and at each polling location on Election Day.
(1) Early, in-person voting site is available @ City of Fairfax Office of Elections 10455 Armstrong Street, Suite 300.
NO. Only 1 location for early voting.
YES (WITH ONE CAVEAT): (1) drop-box will be available in Fairfax at City Hall (10455 Armstrong St), but it will be located inside the lobby and will only be available during business hours (8:30am-5pm MON-FRI, and also on Saturday October 24 and Saturday, October 31; open on Election Day until 7:00pm).
Early, in-person voting is available @ the Voter Registration and Office of Elections at City Hall, 300 Park Ave, Center Level, Suite 206. HOURS: 9:00am-4:00pm MON-FRI. Open on Saturday, October 24 and Saturday, October 31 between 9:00am-5:00pm.
NO. Only 1 location for early voting.
YES. (1) 24/7 exterior drop-box located at City Hall (300 Park Ave).
Early, in-person voting is available @ the Voter Registrar's office at the Executive Center at 601 Caroline St, 5th Floor, in Fredericksburg. HOURS: 8:30am-4:30pm MON-FRI. Open on Saturday, October 24 and Saturday, October 31. Hours unknown for the Saturday dates.
NO. Only 1 location for early voting.
YES. (1) 24/7 exterior drop-box located at the Executive Center (601 Caroline St) [SAME BUILDING AS THE VOTER REGISTRAR'S OFFICE].
Early, in-person voting is available @ the Loudoun County Office of Elections at 750 Miller Dr SE, Leesburg. HOURS: 8:30am-5:30pm MON-FRI (Extended hours hours available after Saturday, October 17.)
YES. Loudon County has, as of now 3 satellite early voting locations: 2 will be open MON-SAT between Saturday, October 17 and Saturday, October 31, and 1 will only be available on Saturdays (October 17, 24 and 31).
 Loudoun County Government Office at Ridgetop @ 21641 Ridgetop Circle, Sterling
 Dulles South Senior Center @ 24950 Riding Center Drive, Chantilly
 Carver Senior Center - 200 E Willie Palmer Way, Purcellville [SATURDAYS ONLY]
NO. Supervised drop-off sites will be available (very likely at satellite early voting sites), and you can also drop-off your ballot at the Office of Elections.
(1) Early, in-person voting site is available @ City of Manassas Voter Registration and Elections Office @ 9025 Center Street. HOURS: 8:30am-5:00pm MON-FRI.
NO. Only 1 location for early voting.
NO: Hand-delivery to the Elections Office ONLY, at least as far as I am aware of.
(1) Early, in-person voting site is available @ Manassas Park City Hall @ 1 Park Center Ct. HOURS: 8:30am-5:00pm MON-FRI. Also available Saturday, October 24 and Saturday, October 31 between the hours of 9:00am-5:00pm.
NO. Only 1 location for early voting.
YES (WITH ONE CAVEAT): (1) drop-box will be available inside Manassas Park at City Hall (1 Park Center Ct), at the Voter Registration Office, only open during voting hours. Supervised ballot boxes also available at polling locations on Election Day.
LINKS: (Map of Early Voting Locations; retreived off the office PWC website) •
(3) locations available for early, in-person voting:
 ** Main Election Office of Prince William County @ 9250 Lee Ave, Suite 1, Manassas .** [MAIN ELECTIONS OFFICE]
DMV in Woodbridge @ 2731 Caton Hill Rd, Woodbridge
 **Haymarket Gainesville Library @ 14870 Lightner Rd, Haymarket
HOURS FOR ALL (3) LOCATIONS: 8:30am-5pm MON-FRI; 8:30am-12 noon SAT. (Extended hours after Saturday, October 17)
YES. In Prince William County, UNLIKE OTHER CITIES & COUNTIES IN NORTHERN VIRGINIA, has 2 satellite early voting locations in addition to the main voting location in Manassas available from the outset (AS LISTED ABOVE); as well as 5 additional locations, also with extended hours, available starting on Saturday, October 17:
 James J. McCoart Administration Building @ One County Complex Court, Woodbridge
 A.J. Ferlazzo Building @ 15941 Donald Curtis Dr, Woodbridge
 Piney Branch Elementary School @ 8301 Linton Hall Rd, Bristow
 Colgan High School @ 13833 Dumfries Rd, Manassas
 Dumfries Town Hall @ 17739 Main St #200, Dumfries
NO. No drop boxes available, but you can drop it off at the Main Election Office in Manassas, or at any early voting location. Contact the County Election Office for more details on ballot drop off.
(2) locations are available for early, in-person voting:
Stafford Airport @ 95 Aviation Way, Fredericksburg (8:30am-4:30pm MON-FRI)
Stafford County Government Center @ 1300 Courthouse Rd, Stafford (8:30am-4:00pm MON-FRI)
NO. Only those two locations.
NO. No drop boxes available, but you can drop it off at either the registrar's office, or at either early voting site. Contact the County Election Office for more details on ballot drop off.
submitted by flyinmacaronimonster to nova [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 20:11 Whitewyne Robert Redwyne, Lord of Dragonstone

(Note, I had included an AC in my Step 1 but have now decided to proceed without an AC for the time being and will consider adding them later on.)

Meta Information

Character Name: Robert Redwyne
Starting Title(s): Lord of Dragonstone, Master of Ships, Ser
Age: 54
Physical Description: Robert is a man whose receding hair and grizzled hair betray the absence of his youth. A thin man but not necessarily frail. He stands an average height of 5'8" and sports blue eyes.
Starting Location: King's Landing
Attribute: Bellicose
Skill Points: 22
Skills: Leadership (CHA), Naval Warfare (MAR), Navigation (MAR), Naval Engineering (EDU), Finances (EDU)
Mastery: Admiral (MAR)
4 10 0 0 0 1 7 0
Username: Whitewyne
Discord Username: hwk
Other Characters: Elenei Gower, Wallace Whitecapp
Robert Redwyne is the first born son of Randyll Redwyne and Bethany Bar Emmon. He was born in 329 AC and inherited Dragonstone in 345 AC after the passing of his grandfather, Hobber Redwyne. His father, Randyll passed in 340 AC when Robert was only 11 years old. This left him five years to learn under his grandfather and his education was largely focused on the sea. As the new overlords of Dragonstone the Redwynes had a formidable fleet and Lord Hobber wanted to ensure that his grandson would know how to utilize it. When he inherited Dragonstone at the age of 16 he dedicated himself to mastering the seas. He quickly became one of the top admirals in Westeros.

Basic Information (OPTIONAL)

Birth Name: Robert Redwyne
Titles: Lord of Dragonstone, Master of Ships
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: 14th Day, Second Moon of 329 AC
Location: King's Landing
Culture: Andal
Religion: Faith of the Seven
Affiliations: House Redwyne of Dragonstone, House Tyrell of King's Landing
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown but greying
Height: 5’8”
Liege: Queen Myrcella Tyrell
Predecessor: Lord Hobber Redwyne
Heir: Hobber Redwyne


Robert Redwyne is only the second of his family to rule Dragonstone since being gifted the small island by Myrcella I Baratheon. He is the first born grandson of Lord Hobber Redwyne and great grandson of Lord Paxter Redwyne who provided his fleet to liberate the Shield Islands from the Ironborn. Robert was born in 329 to his parents, Randyll Redwyne and Bethany Bar Emmon. His childhood was much of what you would expect from a boy growing up on an desolate island so close to the capital of the continent. He longed to be there and not on Dragonstone. Every day he would awake looking to the west and wishing he had one of the Dragons of old that he could ride across the Narrow Sea on and be in King's Landing within hours. Instead he was trapped on this island with little to do. He was aware of the fact that one day this castle would be his but that felt such a far away thing that he desired to live and be free until such a time came. Unfortunately, his eyes were opened to how quickly things can change in 340 Ac when he was but eleven years old.
As the Bastards of the Tides terroized the Narrow Sea, House Redwyne tried to form a resonpse. The attempt to put an end to the years of misery and terror was put together and led by Randyll Redwyne, the heir to Dragonstone and Robert's father. He led a fleet of Redwyne vessels from Dragonstone and sailed straight for the Stepstones hoping to hit the pirates at their core and cripple their ability to wage their atrocities any longer. In the end it was a remarkable failure. Only two vessels of the original fleet limped home and among the dead was the bold and confident heir to Dragonstone. Suddenly, at only the age of eleven and with an ever aging grandfather, Robert was thrust into the unenviable position of being prepped for an impending Lordship.
Lord Hobber did all he could in his ever increasing age to prepare his grandson with all the things he would need to know. But Robert was still a boy and lessons took time to take root. Time that Hobber did not have. There was one thing that Hobber was able to successfully instill in his young grandson though. A love for the sea. Robert had dreamed of flying away from Dragonstone as the Targaryens of old once did for all his youth. That was never a realistic dream but when he realized that ships could do the exact same as the dragons of old he was captivated. There was seldom a day where Robert was not aboard a ship, learning how to navigate it, learning how to read the sky, and studying what made the ships effective. He knew there were secrets that had yet to be unlocked about seafaring and he was determined to find them.
He was sixteen when his grandfather passed in 345 AC. It was a natural death and one that did not come as a surprise to Robert or any of the other family members. Though it still hurt. The great Hobber Redwyne, the slayer of Aurane Waters and defender of the Blackwater, had died. Nobody would ever be able to truly replace the man but Robert was old enough to understand the legacy left behind. He knew it was his time to build on that legacy and he resolved himself that day that Westeros would never know a better admiral than him.
If before his attraction to the sea was a fascination, now it was an obsession. Each day was spent learning his ships, studying their state, attending to their maintenace. It continued this way until two things happened, first being the Lord of Dragonstone recognized his duty to wed and produce a line of his own to one day take over the island. His first child was born to him in 354 AC and was named Hobber in honor of Robert's grandfather. There had never been any doubt in his mind as to what the name of his first son would be. The second was the calling of the Crown. The Lord of Dragonstone's reputation with his ships had not gone unnoticed and he was offered a position on the King's Small Council as Master of Ships. It was all he had ever dreamed of and despite being a rather young appointment he was eager to accept. All the memories of his childhood dreams of flying across the narrow sea to be in King's Landing were now realized and it had been ships that brought him there instead of the oft dreamed about dragons.
Though it was in 357 AC when Lord Robert was forced to prove his worth. As war raged in the Reach the Hightowers, a crown loyalist, was being harassed by the other Redwynes. It was not something that Robert took great joy in, being forced to lead his own fleet against his cousin. But as his King commanded he would obey. When battle came it was Robert's fleet that prevailed, breaking the blockade of Arbor and Western ships, freeing up Hightower men to advance break the siege at Brightwater Keep. The accolades he received after such a monumental victory, however, were overbearing to him. He had gone his entire adolescent and adult life to this point thinking he wanted to be the best Admiral in Westeros. By all accounts he had now achieved that, undisputably, but it all felt empty.
His skill and ability likely made it a surprise when he tenured his resignation from the small council in the falling year, 358 AC to King Alester Tyrell. It was made clear that the decision had not been made lightly but after such a rigours campaign and with the birth of his second child, a daughter name Myrcella, it was time for Lord Robert to return to Dragonstone and focus on his family. And so just like that, his dreams of being a famed admiral and residing in King's Landing had been realized and neither had lived up to what he had hoped. Robert returned to Dragonstone and found a new admiration for it. Devoting himself to not only his ships but to his lands and his people but most importantly, his family.
In the years that followed things slowed down for the Lord of Dragonstone. He would have three more children, all daughters, with the first two being twins born in 362 AC. Cersei and Margaery Redwyne were not quite identical as Hobber and Horras Redwyne had been but Robert thought it ironic that he had been blessed with twin daughters just as his great grandfather had been blessed with twin sons. His last child was born a few years later in 365 AC and would be named Olenna Tyrell after the woman who had once been known as the Queen of Thornes and who played a crucial role in the elevation of House Redwyne to their current position.
Tragedy would strike once more though after a decade of relative calm when Daena Targaryen launched her brutal and destructive war for the Iron Throne. Lord Robert was nearing fifty and had long thought his days of commanding to be over. But when the King's call to arms came he knew that the royal fleet would call upon him once more even though he was no longer the realm's Master of Ships. And much as had been the case in his youth the now grizzled lord found himself unable to answer the call. So he set out to King's Landing with his fleet and his two brothers to prepare for what was sure to be a long and drawn out campaign. Though, not even he could have predicted the surprise fleet of 200 warships that sailed for the Blackwater while the Dragon Queen herself burned the west. Without aid from the Vale the Royal Fleet was incapable of mounting a winning effort. That, however, didn't mean the effort was in vain. While the Royal Fleet was ultimately defeated and forced into a retreat it was successful in inflicting large casualties to the invaders where, in reality, the battle should have been a route. Many of those accolades would once again find their way to Lord Robert's shoulders but the battle had a far larger effect on him. As the fleet attempted to regroup there were two ships that were missing. Both of his brothers' commands had sunk and none had seen them after. Robert was reminded of how quickly life could change once more just as he had been as a boy. Once more the seas took his family from him. Both Mace and Loras Redwyne perished that day and Robert's grief was insurmountable. He sailed his ship home while the rest of the surviving Redwyne fleet remained in service to the Crown. But Lord Robert himself had seen enough and would partake no more. He arrived on Dragonstone and hugged his wife and his children and squeezed them tight.
Robert had sworn on that day, when he returned, to never leave his family again. The crown had called him twice and he'd answered both times but now it was time for somebody else to answer the call. His place was here, with his family. At least that is what he tried to tell himself. But when the crown called once more in late 382 AC Lord Robert once again answered. The position of Master of Ships was open once more and with a young Queen now at the helm a veteran and senior member of the court was desired to fill the post. Of course, with so many others dead following the war there were not many choices. So once more, Lord Robert Redwyne would set out to depart Dragonstone aboard his trusty ship and sail for King's Landing. Once more fulfilling that childhood dream that had long since become a nightmare. All in service of the realm.


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